10 years

Lord willing, in 7 days Sarah and I will be in NY celebrating our 10th anniversary. This trip is special because it marks 10 years, and is likely our last getaway as a couple for some time b/c baby #3 is on its way and grandma and grandpa (our babysitters extraordinaire) are moving to Ohio. Looking back I would have never guessed in my wildest dreams that we would be where we are today. When we got married, we thought I would finish seminary in LA, I would pastor in the church we attended at the time, Sarah would continue teaching yet never gain her Masters degree, and we would raise our family there. A month after we got married I came home one night inspired from a conversation with a friend. I said to Sarah, “Let’s move to Chicago so I can attend a seminary out there.” Sarah gleefully said, “O.k.” A year later we packed up the car and drove off to start our new adventure in Chi-town. We were so naive. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

1997

2007

We thought we would be in Chicago for 2 years. It turned out to be 5. We thought I would be in school for 2 years, it turned out to be 8. In the first 7 years of marriage we moved 8 times. Being a grad student doesn’t pay so we were poor. We moved out to Chicago so that I could study to be a pastor and as graduation drew near we questioned whether that was what we wanted to do. Starting a PhD program didn’t help our marriage any more. I imagine no one likes to be married to someone who is always busy, tired, and stressed. Or married to someone who is constantly tired and stressed due to teaching in one of the most difficult school districts in Chicago. Bad combo. To top it off all I could look forward to was a lot of student debt, an incredibly competitive job market, and poor pay as a professor. Add to that personal crises in identity, longings to return home, and a lack of community. Needless to say marriage was not easy.

There were good times as well. Sarah thought when she married me she would have to abandon her desire for a Master’s degree. Chicago made it possible for us to be both in school. Student life can be quite fun, esp when experiencing it with one you love. I can recall numerous late night study sessions at NU. We were able to travel within the US and visit the east coast on multiple occasions. As stressful as each week was, we spent our Saturdays venturing out into the different neighborhoods of Chicago or taking a bike ride along the Lake down to Mario’s – the best Italian Ice place. Thurs nights was $2 movie night at local discount theater we called Howplace (the S was missing from the sign). In the fall we strolled through the local forests full dazzling red, orange, and yellow. Chicago has the best breakfast places – Bongo Room where you can get Banana Creme Anglaise Pancakes or Stanley’s Saturday brunch where they serve fried chicken and biscuits in addition to omelets and waffles. We vacationed in Indiana, Wisconsin, and Missouri (problem with Chicago is that Chicago is the main attraction for hundreds of miles) and we had a blast (believe it or not one can vacation in Indiana).

I remember muttering to my PhD advisor once, “We were so naive when we got married.” He quickly shot back, “Weren’t we all?” Our lives have have become more stable in the past couple of years. We have 2 children, a home, a wonderful church community, and I have a great job. Yet as difficult as those days in Chicago were, I miss those days. As much as we struggled, we clung to each other because we didn’t have anything or anyone else. In many ways I see us today as with the post-exilic community who had previously abandoned all hope only to now realize their wildest dreams are coming true.

When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us, and we rejoiced. Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like the watercourses in the Negeb. May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy. Those who go out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, carrying their sheaves. (Psalm 126)

Happy Anniversary Sarah. I want no other life than the life that we’ve had together – both the sorrow and the joy. I’m not even going to try to predict what the next 10 years will bring. My marriage has been beyond my wildest dreams.